The holidays are upon us – which for me runs from a couple weeks before Thanksgiving (family birthdays) until after the first of the year. This is the time of year which brings out the best of people. And the worst.
This is my “Black Dog” season — short days, frequent bad weather, being alone in a season that highlights families.
But for many people who have families, holidays can also be difficult because of unpleasant family dynamics. Sometimes families bring out our inner child – not in a good way, but the uncertain, insecure, emotionally dependent . . . Family stresses can cause us, or people we love, to turn in on themselves, to put up barriers and walls, to push away the very people who love them/us the most.
There’s not much to do. All the hype about holiday as an idyllic season only makes things more painful when idyllic is one of the last adjectives one would reach for, in describing the holiday realities. The movie Love, Actually, is a pretty sad but realistic portrayal of how disappointing Christmas can be.
What to do?
I haven’t decorated my house in years. What’s the point, when no one will come by, no children will come home to celebrate? But I find myself committed, impulsively, to buying a Christmas tree from a local businessman, and so I’m going to decorate. —- and why shouldn’t I? Am I not capable of enjoying the festive glow of fairie lights in the tree? and Christmas dishes and wreaths and candles and the Nativity scene (I do hope the pieces are still intact!) and all of it? And is it not perfectly realistic and reasonable to decorate the house for my own pleasure? And so I shall.